Rob
I didn't sleep very well. At 6:20pm last night, my sister called me from France.
She told me Rob had died. He was 27. That post I was going to write. Those CDs I was going to buy. The dinner I was halfway cooking. All became instantly redundant.
I'd actually thought about him on New Year's Eve and how I hadn't spoken to him in ages. How I wanted to add him to the email list I send stuff out to. I was going to wait until my sister got back from holiday to get his email address...
I remember the last time I saw him was at my sister's birthday a couple of years ago (2001, I think). My sister had booked a room in a club, and there were lots of her friends there. I only knew her ex-boyfriend and her flatmate. Conversations were somewhat strained.
Rob arrived with his girlfriend and pretty soon came over to talk to me. His girlfriend wandered off and Rob sat down and we started talking. I was suddenly reminded of a conversation we'd had years earlier in my study, at school. He sat there for hours listening to me go on about comics, asking me questions about the plots and characters. He showed real interest, and made me feel good about knowing every little detail about the X-Men.
I can't remember exactly what we talked about that night in the club. I do remember that he sat there for most of the evening talking to me. I do remember him encouraging me to take off round the world. I believe a quality of a good person is that they can make others feel comfortable and good about themselves. Rob did this effortlessly.
He was one of those people who fitted into all the cliques. He got on with everyone. More accurately, he was liked by everyone. He'd smile and your day would be instantly better. If you have friends like this, cherish and nurture your friendship. If 2003 has taught me anything, it's that life is too short.
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There are very few people in this world that take the time out to give you their full attention. When you talk to them, just the way they listen and ask questions make you feel better about yourself and your ideas. It is definitely a gift, as is their friendship. Later, we always wonder why we didn't work harder to keep it close by. I don't think that is their purpose. Too much of anything becomes old. Every once in awhile, a person of that quality walks in our lives when we most need them and gives us the boost we need to move to the next level. You were blessed by your meeting with him. Now it is your turn to offer that same gift to someone. Give someone your full attention and ask questions of them about their life and dreams. You will find it is a wonderful thing. My guess is that Rob's short life was far more interesting and fulfilling than someone twice his age. Thank you for sharing his story, it motivates me to be more like him.
Thank you Cindra for your thoughtful consideration. I've moved your comment to this entry, where it should be. I originally closed the comments on this entry because I didn't want anyone to feel obliged to post anything. They are open now if you want to comment, but please don't feel you have to.
I went to the funeral on friday. Easily 200-300 people turned up. Old and young, many of the lives that Rob touched were there. "He made his elders feel at ease." I hadn't realised that he had accomplished so much in the brief time he had. "Racing in rallies in cars dressed as a cows." It was strange seeing everyone from school again. Everyone has grown up, but the dynamic remains almost the same. We will all miss you. I am adding a link on the side to the charity which he worked with: Whizz-Kidz.